I witnessed him in Vegas and still can't quite believe my own eyes. Joining the mythical ranks of creatures from Nessie to the Yeti is the legend of the...straight bottom?
Sure enough, that's how one of our Playgirl models identified himself at our Las Vegas shoot. When pressed, he said he has amazing sex with his girlfriend. But he performs as gay porn bottom. "Why don't you do straight porn?" I ask, and he becomes a little ruffled. "Because my girlfriend would freak!"
By the end of the shoot, we want to go out and party, but the straight bottom resists. He's got to get to bed because he's got to be up early. He has an appointment with one of his clients in LA at 3pm. So what's going to happen with his client? "Oh, he'll finger my ass for an hour."
So why can't he just get fingered by his client later in the day? "Because I'm having sex with my girlfriend at 5."
Ahhh, modern romance is such a beautiful thing. But more than the straight bottom, I want to meet his girlfriend!
Augusten Burroughs Brings 'Lust & Wonder' to Barnes & Noble on March 27 - Here's your chance to meet Augusten Burroughs, who will be on the Upper East Side to promote his latest memoir, which chronicles three romantic relations...
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