Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Puppetry of the Penis

The ancient art of genital origami! Puppetry of the Penis is making the rounds again---Bam and I and a couple of game girlfriends went to see these men contort penis off-Broadway last weekend. Or was that off-off Broadway?

Naturally, its creators had to open with a female comic talking about titties so all straight men in the audience could be made to feel as comfortable as possible about watching two naked men twist and mangle their genitals on stage. Why do I get the feeling that everything on this planet to do with male sexuality has the duty of making straight men feel as comfortable as possible?

Once it got going, the show was actually a lot of silly fun, Bam said it was the best $30 he ever spent. And don't worry, they said we could take photos at this point in the program...

Here's a reversal! Usually it's the performers who imagine the audience naked.
Here the boys perform "The Hamburger".
If you think that's impressive, you should see the "hairy tongue", get foreskin envy when you witness the "Eiffel Tower", or be wowed by or our personal favorite, "The slowly emerging Mollusk". Puppetry of the Penis plays another week here in New York City.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Oh yeah, shear me!

My friend Audrey is in town from Los Angeles, and as usual she brought her impeccably high brow taste in humor. She turned me onto this turned on sheep. It's hysterical--brought to you by Seth MacFarlane, who does Family Guy.

How Polanski's arrest leads us to Libya?

So much for Swiss neutrality! The Swiss yesterday arrested director Roman Polanski as he flew into Zurich to receive an award at a film festival. He's been living in France since fleeing the US in 1977, before he was sentenced for raping a 13 year old girl..after the judge reneged on his plea bargain.

What a colossal waste of time, manpower, and expense! I don't condone child rape, or think he deserves leniency because his mom died in Auschwitz and his wife had their fetus gruesomely ripped out of her by Manson, but Polanski's own victim has dropped the charges. She has gone so far as to say she'd go to court to exonerate him.

So...WTF? Mostly this feels like a strange power play. With the arrest of Polanski, the Swiss didn't settle for merely ass-kissing. They have actually stationed themselves far up inside the USA's butt. Of all the obsequious things! Why? They Swiss justice ministry says politics aren't in play here. Uh, sure. And special interest isn't strangling our health care debate!

I asked my Swiss friend, Rebekka and here's what she had to say from the view over there. She's only guessing, but don't be surprised if you see the Clinton's packing for Libya at some point in the future.

"Here's the reason i think why the Swiss did this: There have been major issues between Switzerland and Lybia for over a year now. I don't think the New York Times has written about it, or have they? Last summer, one of the sons of the Lybian dictator stayed in a Geneva hotel with his wife. He and the wife severely abused their staff or hotel staff (like hot irons on skin, beating, locking up etc.) so the Geneva police arrested the two (who were soon bailed out).

In response, the Lybian dictator did not allow two Swiss citizens, fairly high up business dudes working in Lybia, to leave the country. They have been stuck there ever since. Just after Clinton freed the two journalists in North Korea this year, our Swiss head of state went to Lybia trying to do the same thing. He came back alone, but had signed a very bizarre contract with Lybia, in which the hostages are not mentioned, but the Swiss politician said it was promised to him verbally they would return by early September (what a loser!)

They are still stuck in Lybia and now even being tried for some supposed visa issues. Anyhow, the Swiss people are pissed at the Swiss head of state for having signed such a stupid and undetailed 'contract' and to have actually apologized for the arrest of the violent son. So i think the Swiss now want help from the US to get those two guys freed."

Yet another tangled page in the web of international politics.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Violet Tendencies

A bunch of the characters from our upcoming film "Violet Tendencies" were in the studio last weekend to loop dialogue that either wasn't clear, or needed to be added. The film is now fully funded and we're just finishing up post: sound mixing, musical score, and a few other things before it's ready to be sent out to festivals and premiere hopefully early next year. Stay tuned!

More fun on set!

Village People Cowboy Randy Jones admires Marcus Patrick with the rest of the cast, in the final scene of the film.
Miss Mindy Cohn takes her first whiff of poppers! Her two cents: "It gave me a headache."
Jesse and Mindy tell the story about Mindy sniffing poppers as we present at the HX awards.
HX Magazine folded about a week after their award's show. R.I.P. Publishing! For some super professional stills of the film, check out our still photographer's site, J. Cherrae Photography

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Posing in Candy Land

I had the honor of modeling last weekend for acclaimed artist Will Cotton. He's as superlative a painter as any 17th century master, and his celebrated inspiration is...candy! Pretty women and candy! Check out his site in the link above to check out some of his amazing work. I can't wait to see what comes out of his imagination, based upon what he set up the other day.

Getting ready at the studio
Giving the girls my candy scepter. I believe the blanket will end up as Cotton Candy...
Do you love my Candy King man-wig?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Atta Girl!

One of my favorite girls, Jackie aka "Blackie O" celebrated her birthday at burlesque hotspot THE BOX last week. I went with Cooldan and Thomas. The Box is like walking into the Moulin Rouge, with an ornate stage and little box seats. Really late in the night, Joey Arias emceed some incredibly sexy acts. Until then, we played with sexy Jackie!

Happy Birthday, Jackie!
I'm gonna lift you on my shoulders now.
Jackie, seriously. You're going on my shoulders now.

The GLBT Job Fair

I want to go all Joe Wilson on Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke who last week said the recession is probably over. Liar! Yesterday, I hoofed it over to the GLBT Center for their annual Out to Work job fair. It was a mob scene! Breadlines stretched down the block, and half way down 7th avenue! There is nothing more depressing than going to a job fair and finding well dressed masses of eager, portfolio carrying Recessionistas!

You know there were family-size jars of Purell at the vendor tables because there was a lot of handshaking going on. In fact, the HBO guy just stood there with his hands in his pockets! Thankfully, Whole Foods supplied cupcakes, and the Center staff and volunteers were awesome, so the whole affair was worth it. Otherwise, I bothered to wait in just one line (to talk with reps from the A&E channel) and after a half-hour when I reached the front of the line (what are these job seekers doing? Sharing life stories?) and ask what jobs they're offering, I'm told that they're not hiring right now because they're merging with Lifetime--but please leave a resume and check their website in a month and a half! I got the conspiratorial feeling that many companies are only engaged in some kind of PR campaign. As in, send the intern to go make nice with the GLBTs.

Thankfully, Anita Private was there and we took off to Chelsea where we discovered it was some kind of special evening for the art galleries and they were all serving champagne. We spent the evening wandering around ogling art. "How much is this painting?" Anita would ask. "$38,000" they'd answer and Anita followed with, "May I have another glass of champagne?" We may not have found a job, but we hit the jackpot!

In related news, I'm volunteering for the GLAAD OutAuction. Although I know little about art, I'm part of the curatorial sub-committee, so if you are an artist (or know one) and would like to get some great exposure and help a worthwhile charity, please go to their website and download the form here to donate a work of art. You can also go here to buy tickets to the event, which is held on November 15.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Mexican Breakfast, Helpfully Explained.

Finally, a rosetta stone to decipher Fosse! Check out what this witty writer came up with for Gwen Verdon's moves. Oh my what a groovy number. If you sense a striking similarity to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" video, you're not alone!

Ok, so what's your favorite move? I'm vacillating between "Friend Request, Denied!" "No, you can't have my kidney", "I carry water for the village" and "Insouciance, bitches". It's so hard to pick!!!

To see more of this guy's work, visit his website

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Making Love to the Big Gay Musical

I hit the premiere of the Big Gay Musical! Fred M. Caruso and Casper Andreas' joint venture is a winner, with catchy tunes and a touching finish. Encore! It's got an extended run at the Chelsea Clearview cinemas, so please go this week and support indie gay filmmaking.

Sunday I went to see District 9. I've heard so many good things about this film and I gotta say I loved the concept, I mean--kudos to any creative head who can combine Kafka and apartheid, but did anyone else get sick? Maybe it was the popcorn, mixed with a hangover, mixed with sitting way too close to the screen, but this is a film not a Mexican jumping bean, ok?! All that jittery documentary action style free held camera crap totally distracted me from plot holes which now seem so glaring. That black liquid: not only would you turn into an alien if it spilled on you, but it is also a precious rocket-fuel. Is it also effective on hard-to-clean coffee stains?

How does that little alien kid know how to program the mother ship to come beam them up? How does the hero know how to operate the alien ship, and later the Robocop? Why did the aliens come to earth in the first place? Undoubtedly, we're in for another couple of installments of this franchise.

Then I rented "Making Love". This is a film from 1982 Arthur Hiller film about a woman who's husband is having a "sexual identity crisis". I watched the trailer in the DVD extras and howled at this 20th Century Fox disclaimer:

Making Love deals openly and candidly with delicate issues. It is not sexually explicit, but it may be too strong for some people. Making Love is bold, but gentle. We are proud of its honesty. We applaud its courage.

Can you picture me rolling my eyes? I sat down with popcorn, soooo ready to laugh along to this stinker. First off, it stars Kate Jackson. I know she was a model and Charlie's angel, but I find her looks very unappealing. Her doctor "he's so compassionate!" husband soon starts cruising West Hollywood, and begins an affair with Harry Hamlin and then I'm getting into the movie. Because it was Harry Hamlin, and because they actually gave his slut understanding and dimension.

When the husband/lover doesn't come out to his wife, Harry kicks him to the curb with, "What does he want me to be? Teacher, tour guide, father, confessor?" The husband does eventually come out, his wife flips out and later tracks down one of his tricks to discover gays are human!

She later comes to terms, and in the end her husband finds a man, and suddenly I found myself proud of the film's honesty. I was applauding its courage! I even cried if not exactly for this story, then for the optimism and hope that this story offers; a tentative optimism and hope that would soon be pitilessly obliterated by AIDS.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I kissed a girl and I...liked it!

My friend Scott showed me a series of photos from a shameless hetero make-out session.

The pretty young lady is Devan.
And the man is me!
We met that night, and the future looks bright.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

9/11 and frustration with mammals of the human variety

Global warming, my ass!! September 11 2009 was a drizzly dreary wet rag that soaked me down to my socks. I almost thought I was back in Oregon. Blech! It was nothing like the crystal clear blue terrorist skies of 2001.

This sounds hideously selfish to say, but that was an incredible day to be in New York City. It can never happen again like that. People just went about their business. I was making breakfast in the Lower East Side when I heard the first *CRASH*. It was so loud, I looked out my window and saw nothing but....clear blue skies. So between the time I hear that crash and the time the first tower fell let me tell you all I did: it was voting day, I went and voted. I saw the tower on fire and I went to the roof of my building and I took photos. I got ready for work and got on the subway. It was running! Then I got out of the subway, and the first one fell. Humans are so funny, aren't they? Just going about their inertia when everything is changing.

People around the world watching tv knew more than we did here. It was like we were trapped animals, on this island, not knowing where to go...was central park the next target? Times Square? Cell phones were not working and the spirit of solidarity was truly heartening. But within a couple of days the flags sprouted. Star spangled banners blooming out of fire escapes, over streets, in windows. I'm not the only one who was creeped out by their presence, as if they were presaging some new sort of fascist evil. Something like, I don't know...the IRAQ war?...that soon the rest of this country (it was not NYC!) would frightfully be sold. I hope for and await the day we can feel that same sort of solidarity, and wave a flag of humanity. A time when there are no nations, when there is no comprehension of a thing such as RACE. A day without religion.

I am so disillusioned with homo sapiens today! How absolutely insane is the Republican party? How do you spell WHITE PANIC?! And classless! Joe ("You Lie!") Wilson? I love the Huff Post headline "A Muzzle for Old Yeller". Now he's raised over $750,000 and is being hailed as a "hero" by his party for...heckling? I'm surprised he didn't jump up and bite Obama's finger off, like his fellow crackers do in those special-interest sponsored health care Town Hall meetings. What is so mortally wrong with another health care OPTION? So concerned about illegal aliens, Joe? Wasn't it this racist who also wanted to fly the Confederate flag in South Carolina? In 2009? Did you know that in Arizona, during the worst economic depression since the 1930's, legislators are right this very minute spending time and tax money on trying to pass a law that will allow you to bring your guns into...bars? Oh yeah, humans! Smart! Who else can't wait for our species to splinter off and for evolution to favor another, better, species? A species that creates and exists in a world where the pen actually IS mightier than the sword?

On the 8th anniversary, yesterday, I somehow received a pamphlet from a guy in the street about the 9/11 conspiracy. This made me laugh, and although I've never considered myself liberal enough to buy into any of it....was it an inside job? I don't know! Even then, on that very day, I thought it strangely odd that our military couldn't rustle up a single fighter jet into action to stop that second plane. We have the best military in the world? Ha! How long was it between the first and second strike? Okay, and where is video evidence of the Pentagon hit? Why did the towers both fall to the ground, like they detonated?

And more importantly, what are we doing in Afghanistan? Do we have some kind of actual goal there? Because if that's the case, where's next? Iran? North Korea? Indonesia? I seem to recall Obama ("You lie!") campaigning on a promise of CHANGE? So now he's escalating the troops? Osama Bin Laden (it wasn't Saddam?) once said he'd drag our military around the world and weaken us to the point of vulnerable and does anyone else see that's exactly what's happening?

Friends took me to the Moth Story Slam at Cooper Union two nights ago. Cooper Union has had so many famous speakers, and its only blocks from my house and I'm sorry to report it was only my first visit! The Moth is an organization that puts on excellent storytelling sessions. I've been to some before, here in the Lower East Side, and random people get up and tell a story based on the theme for that night. Who knew it would grow so big? The moth had their season opener at Cooper Union and its no longer just anonymous anybodies who are speaking! The theme was "Broken: Stories of Disobedience" which of course is right up my alley.

The performers? Lt. Daniel Choi. He is an Arab linguist who served in Iraq, and now discharged under Obama's (I vote for change! Yes we can't!) "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. He told a story about how "love was worth it" and how he learned at West Point that the number one rule in the honor code was "Don't Lie" and that he upheld it. He had appeared and outed himself on Rachel Maddow's show earlier this year and Lt. Choi seemed strangely proud of his service in Iraq, which kind of makes me want to direct him back to Rachel Maddow's show, and the episode where she hands Tom Ridge his ass on a platter with regards to our engagement in Iraq. The "democratic govt" and "end of conflict" that Ridge and our government now speaks of since our occupation of that once sovereign nation must be a bitter pill to swallow for gays there who (if they are still alive) are now more than ever being targeted and brutally murdered by Iraqi kill-squads. And you thought it was only women in Islam who were forced to conform to gender roles!

Also at the slam was Philip Caputo, a journalist who served in Vietnam. He told a poignant story about human compassion that he learned after being shot in the Lebanese conflict (the 70's one, not the current or future conflict). Then there was Dr. Terrence Roberts, one of the "Little Rock 9" schoolchildren who bravely integrated the Arkansas school system in the 1950's. Holy hell, this man is still alive! Translation: it wasn't so long ago! Black people couldn't go to school with white people!!! All of this took place in the very same Great Hall where Abraham Lincoln gave his historic anti-slavery speech. The one where he uttered the words: "Let us have faith that right makes might."

Today, a century and a half later, who can't help but wish: IF ONLY!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Violet Brazil!

This is soooo MULTO BOM! Brazil's Odyssey magazine just put out a great feature on me with some advance global press on "Violet Tendencies". Check out pages 26-30 here. Didn't know I speak Portuguese? I do here!

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Jesse on the hunt!

In an effort to get more writing work, I've put Bam to work re-vamping my "writing" page. He's done a really fun job of it! It was hard to decide which samples to include, but it doesn't really matter because we can always switch different things in and out. Check it out and let me know what you think!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009


Thanks to the iphone "there's an app for that" existence, our friends in Idaho Falls hooked up to GRINDR and found us their friend Jade. He lives in Jackson, but that day he was only 12 miles away! At a truck stop!

They asked if he'd be interested in driving 2 new yorkers an hour away to Pocatello-- and Idaho's most famous gay bar, Charley's? "I'll be there in 12 minutes!"

Jade arrives with his trusty bassett hound steed...
Cooldan has NEVER looked so small, nuzzling into Charley's Drag Diva: Spyke Naugahyde.
Spyke Naugahyde was the mistress of ceremonies, and she did something I've never seen a drag queen do before: she brought her mother to the club with her!

Jade was a riot. After all this action, on the way back to Idaho Falls, he even stopped for a quick gamble at the all-night "Sho-Ban" indian casino.

A boyscout leaves no stone unturned.
The lesbians have come out to play! Somehow, I got saddled up into the dance competition with a frisky bacheloretteI wasn't alone. She got down with all the contestants.
And Cooldan got down with her!
Somehow I lost! To that little straight guy on the right --- who couldn't even dance!
Still, we did win some drink tickets. The locals were a constant source of inspired amusement.
This drag queen was hysterical. I couldn't help but notice how sensible she was to drink right out of a pitcher. I tell her this and she smiles, saying, "The pitcher makes my hands look smaller."
Indeed!! Just imagine how small her hands would look holding a pitcher whilst standing beside Spyke Naugahyde?!

"So what do you do about the Adam's apple?" I ask. She deadpans dryly, "I don't have one of those."

Friday, September 04, 2009

religion has fear, the rest of us have satire.

A couple of weeks ago, I rode into Idaho and met up with the fantastic group of people I met back in Hawaii. In 2007, our producer Mich Lyon took us on a day cruise around the NaPali coast, where we met "Dolphin Laurie" and all her Idaho Falls friends. If you're a long-time reader of this blog, you won't have forgotten the super sensational blog post she inspired, "Fingering Flipper"!

Laurie is safe on land and still best friends with her boys. In fact, back when I was writing Violet Tendencies, I consulted with her on what it's like for a "Fruit Fly", so she's definitely part of our film. I'm also pleased to report that Laurie has gone off and gotten happily married. And she didn't even have to leave her boys! Her friends Wes and Scott own the absolute BEST restaurant in Idaho Falls. If you're ever in the must swing by and eat at Rutabaga's.

Cooldan and I had such a great time with them, we hope to spend more time together. The thing about Laurie and her friends is they are all ex-Mormons, were all once married to Mormons, and all somehow freed themselves. It's so entertaining to hear about that religion because it is soooo far out there.

I ask, "Is it true that when you're married, they give you a secret name to use when you're dead to let you enter heaven?" Scott turns to Laurie, and says, "Is it true, Rachel?" Laurie turns to Scott, "I don't know, Aaron," she says. HA! I mean, it's not even a FUN name. Aaron? For all the vast imagination that went into their religion, you think they could dish out a Moroni or Nephi.

Now if you tell anyone but your spouse this secret name, you go straight to hell. And just to illustrate how man-made and misogynistic religion is: the husband gets to know the secret name of his wife, but the wife never knows the name of the husband. So what if the wife dies first and has to call out his name to enter heaven? SORRY!! She waits around in some purgatory (I hope there's television!) until he dies to then call out her secret (yet hopelessly boring) name!

But back to earth, and the story of ex-communication. Those gays! Wes and Scott have been together for almost 20 years, but the Mormons decided just this year to witch-hunt (presumably to keep church accounting prosperous). So they actually went to their home and started with, "It's been reported that you're not living a life that's harmonious with the scripture...." Can you believe that? Following that, the church sent a letter, giving a date for a "tribunal" where Scott was to appear and church elders were to determine if he is to be excommunicated! As if he was going to appear. But the best part? Laurie sees the letter and sends the church back this note:

"Dear XXX, My husband's excommunication hearing has been scheduled on the same night as the season finale of BIG LOVE. Could you please reschedule?"

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Rachel Maddow-you go, girl!

Wow. Did anyone catch Rachel Maddow take on Tom Ridge last night? The former director of "Homeland Security" (how vomitrociously Orwellian is that Bushism?) is promoting his new book (which I hope, after watching this interview, nobody buys) and she confronted him about something he wrote, ultimately getting him to disavow his own book jacket! It's obvious to me that since his book was released, some higher-up has forced him to recant some of its contents.

But that wasn't all. Rachel's respectful, she listens, and the best part is she isn't afraid to go there. Kudos to Ridge for having the balls to go there at all (oh the gibberish, the backpedaling, the strange episodes of...sniffing!) She held his feet to the fire on Katrina, on the "intelligence" on Iraq and by the end of the interview she went in for the kill. I literally bolted up from the couch I was so blown away.

Watch the three-part video on the huffington post. As one commenter says, "She took him to the gallows, and got him to say thank you." Another writes, "Rachel shot him with both barrels, cordially." Rachel Maddow is the best journalist we've got.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Whitney Houston in Central Park photos & video

Whitney's back....and she looks like a million dollar bill! This morning was the taping of Good Morning America (the segment to air tomorrow) featured a live performance by Whitney Houston. I've known about this for a week but this morning, I wavered. I nearly didn't go all the way uptown, I mean--it's bound to be on youtube by now, right?---but I decided I had to honor that 1980's kid I used to be. So I dragged my butt up to Central Park.

One thing about Whitney, she really commands a disparate audience. Every kind of person was there. Whit Whit appeared on time and energetic, and the girl looks incredible. Really stunning. I can imagine how nervous she was to do this live show. Everyone thinking, wondering---is her voice wrecked?
Whitney takes the stage
Diane Sawyer and the other host in red. Diane Sawyer was SO made-up, I could smell the grease paint from where I stood. When Whitney hugged her, I was like no're gonna come away with a smear of white-face!
Oh, this was great---Diane Sawyer backs up Whitney in her "I'm every woman" finale. Ha!
She kept looking up into the sky, which was clear blue, and then when she was talking with Diane Sawyer (which we couldn 't hear) she kept pointing to the sky and I'm thinking--what the hell is going on up in the sky? Is she making a weather prediction? Are there 747s aiming for the upper east stage? What? I believe the truth is she's just really into god which is worrisome: will she ever appear at gay pride again?

I got her album yesterday--and it's fantastic. "I look to you" (yes more glancing at the sky). I tell you what---I'm looking to the remixes, too. Especially her great re-do of "A Song for You". Her daughter Bobbi came on stage (she got...cute!), her mother Cissy was there, too. Whitney said she taped Oprah yesterday (the season premiere coming in a couple of weeks). So what's she sound like? How is the voice? It's unmistakeably not what it used to be. The back up singers often saved her on a high note, just in case she couldn't hold it alone. Whitney is raspy, but she's still Whitney! Nothing but love, Nippy! Welcome back.

Judge for yourself. Check out some quick videos below.

I'm seeing the Pet Shop Boys tonight in Midtown---so it's a 1980's extravaganza. What a beautiful Tuesday!