Thursday, February 25, 2010

Going Down in La La Land

Behind the scenes shots from the movie!  Thanks to David Fardmar for being on-hand to catch all the on-set action in these fotos and oh so many more on his facebook page.

She loves a pearl necklace!  The lovely Allison Lane as Candy. 
Mercifully, Allison has made this her FB profile photo!  Below, Michael Medico as closeted actor John and the one who went down....Matthew Ludwinski as Adam.  Don't they look good together???  Said Matthew, "I just took it for granted that he'd fall head over heels in love and we'd be together forever..."

But turns out the talented (and hysterical) Michael (left) has a boyfriend already and the two of them look A LOT alike.  "You know that's just narcissism," I said and he fired back: "Finally, I don't need a mirror to jack off anymore!"  Killing me!!!
 My first scene as Matthew, the mean evil queen.  Once Adam (Matthew) is through with me, he'll fall headlong into porn.  A natural transition for a pretty young buck in Hollywood! 
Are you already confused?  My character's name is Matthew, and Matthew is Adam. 
It gets better....the adorable Angelina Hong plays Kim (I'm mean to her, too.  Sorry!!)
And Kim Allen plays...Ms Campbell.  The mind boggles!!  Kim (below) plays the sassy Salome in the upcoming "Violet Tendencies"---and steals the show, BTW!!
This little hottie plays Candy's gym trainer.  Grrr.
Hot bag of crazy Judy Tenuta!!  Bow down and obey her highness!!

Hi Casper!!  Casper Andreas as Nick.  He went down...and (strung) out!! 

The moral compass of the film lies in none other than Perez Hilton!  He was kind and cordial and apparently on that Blackberry a lot.
America's Gaysian sweetheart, Alec Mapa.  He brought his own eyelashes to set!!  Why didn't I think of that?  How else are you gonna be bright eyed and bushy tailed at 4 in the morning???
The shot you've been waiting for.
18 days. No rest.  Friends for life!
There once was an Oscar Party. Lip synch...for your life!!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Gio Black Peter

NY Underground is still alive!!  My downtown friends are always doing super outrageous installations (Danny, wish I could post your Magic (H) Ball?!!!) and it's a always a treat to know people who continually prove that the New York underground scene still beats.

Gio Black Peter is another friend who's always creating something artistically in your face and unabashedly individual.  I last caught him at the pussy-faggot party dressed as sexpot version of the kid from Where the Wild Things Are, just before he took the stage.  A visual artist, performance artist, model, musician, video artist, he's always pushing perceptions. Like with this aweseome video below, Sticks & Stones.

While you're at it, get to know him and his art better in this great interview with East Village Boys.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


On the left coast, I'm barely off the plane when my friends Rica and Jesse are telling me about how their bowels refuse to budge after a long flight.  "Jet log," they call it.

As in, "Are you still in the bathroom?"
"Yes, I'm severely jet-logged."

And now you see where I get a sick sense of humor.   A big thanks to all the friends who generously let me invade their homes and lives: Audrey & Gordon, Rica & Brad, Ian & Remy.  You are the best!

Meanwhile, I wasn't the only one having recent fun.  Back in snowmaggedon, Cooldan was dancing away at Rockit last Friday night with a few French friends.  His pants were hanging down and exposing his (Paul Smith, probably threadbare, hand-me-down) underwear (totally unintentionally, I'm sure) when a stranger approached.

"I like your underwear," he said.  "Wanna swap?"

This was on odd proposition, and one Cooldan initially refused, but not before asking to see what kind of underwear was on offer?  The guy unzipped to show off a pair of black Dolce & Gabbana.  Dan declined, he'd keep his Paul Smith panties.  Obviously they were working.

Ten minutes later, the guy returns to the dance floor.  Says Cooldan: "He put something in my hands, I didn't know what it was until...."

It was a warm pair of Dolce & Gabbana underwear!

Then the guy says, sultry, "Now give me yours."  Cooldan insisted he didn't want to trade but the guy was like, "C'mon.." and being such a people-pleaser (this is good to know about Lebanese-bred people) Cooldan goes into the bathroom, strips his underwear, puts on the D&G's, and returns to the dance floor to complete the transaction.

The French friends of Cooldan were appalled he traded his underwear with some random stranger on the dance floor!  Two days later, he met up with them again and they asked - did he get cooties?  Crabs?  It was only then Cooldan realized he was still wearing the D&Gs.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Bitch of the Year!

Just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer...I did a guest spot on the Morning Bitch, my friend Allison's irreverently hilarious webisode series.  I 've been typecast play Kathy Griffin's biggest fan, Nelly.  Check it out and don't forget to vote for Bitch of the Year!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The San Francisco Treat

The snownami in New York City gave perfect excuse to stay out here longer and see my friends (Miss these guys!!  Ian and Remy and Jimmy and Peter) who all recently moved out to San Francisco.  I've never liked the city better (it's people in a city that colors the whole experience of a city, right?)

San Francisco (grrrrr, NYC!) doesn't have an over-saturation of chain stores and bank branches so it manages to retain its independence and the Castro is like this cozy gay womb.  I haven't been here since the medical marijuana outbreak so that's been really bizarre (same with LA) to see pot stores and totally makes me wonder when we'll be able to pop into the corner store for some medical (fill in the illicit blank)??

Ian and Remy treated me to chanteuse Justin Bond at the Castro Theatre.  He sang the Carpenters Close to You album and was radiant and hilarious and touching. I laughed. I cried. I lusted after his Louboutins.

After that we all hit club Eight (on the dance floor we met a drag queen with the best name ever: Angie Mima"!!!), and later the transtastic Amanda Lepore performed seven songs.  Now you're asking---you came to San Francisco to see Justin Bond and Amanda Lepore?  You'll see them next week in New York!  I know!  But aren't you more shocked to know Amanda Lepore has seven songs?  Who knew!?  They're all lush and layered: Cotton Candy, champagne, her hair looking fierce.

Amanda naturally (and when have you seen those two words next to each other??) ended up topless, but oddly didn't flash her fully functional vagina.  Is she getting shy in her old age?  To (almost) make up for it, she did coo, "My Pussy" - an immortal tune which lyrically, as far as I know, doesn't go past "My Pussy".  I'm currently trying to teach it to Ian's parrot. 

Monday, February 15, 2010

Whoa, Mecca!

How do you spot a gay muslim?
Totally gonna get my embassy burned down for this one.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Burning Man or BUST!

Jason P. Freeman gave me an awesome write up in the travel section of Chicago's Pink Magazine.  His words just trip over the tongue (in a good way!)  Also big thanks to photographer Frank Louis for the brand new photo.  I do hope to get back to Burning Man this year.  Are you going?

Check above to make it bigger.  Who doesn't need more pink in their eyes, er, lives!! You can also download the whole issue to see travel pieces from Rupaul, Robert Verdi, and Jane Velez-Mitchell. 

Friday, February 12, 2010

Going Down in La La Land

Behind the scenes blackmail photos recently appeared on Facebook courtesy of Allan Brocka.  Okay, maybe it was between the scenes.  I said it was the "bottomless margarita gymnastics".  Allan replies, "There's nothing bottomless about this photo!"

At WeHo pillar RAGE: star Matthew Ludwinski, me, an unidentified piggybacker and Casper Andreas

Let's blame RAGE for including an elevated runway on their dance floor!  Says Matthew, "I was going to un-tag myself from that photo, but my abs were looking pretty good."  Um, yeah!

Yum, eah!

And if you think this is West Hollywood gone weren't there to see the guy at Rage wheeling around on his Segway.  That's one way to avoid a DUI in Los Angeles!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What I love about Los Angeles

Memorizing lines at Runyon Canyon.  No, I don't need glasses I was just posed all wrong!!!  Thanks, J.  I'm also loving all my old friends out West!! 
I understand New York is covered in snow.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

(Brush) Stroke of Genius!

How coooool is this?  Artist Paul Richmond has turned me into a slasher victim!

The painting is entitled In Hot Pursuit, Starring Jesse Archer.  Could the knock-kneed monster be Ann Miller back from the grave to hunt me down performing a shim-sham-shimmy from Sugarbabies?  I love how some of you think that I'm not actually trying to get away from the monster but willingly letting him catch up!  If you want to read more about it or buy a print (or the original) of the painting check out Paul's blog here!

This is all he had to go on: 

Last time I put a brush to canvas, I tried to paint a Brontosaurus and it ended up like Snuffaluffagus.  And I still hung it on my wall!!  I'm in awe of those who can paint and honored to be one of Paul's Cheesecake boys!  Not only did he do such a superlative job, it only took him about a month.  He's already moved on to stripping photographer Mike Ruiz!

Once the Cheesecake series is complete, his solo show will run in Chicago at the Center on Halstead in June!!!

My Cheesecake paintings put a long overdue twist on classic pin-up art. I'm interested in challenging traditional gender roles that have been reinforced by artistic expressions of sexuality in the past. It intrigues me that it was almost exclusively women who were depicted as hapless victims of skin-baring circumstance, such as the pin-up girls by Gil Elvgrin and Art Frahm. Those ladies couldn’t even walk down the street without their skirts blowing up or their underwear falling down (or both!). Meanwhile, male pin-ups by artists like Tom of Finland were generally afforded more control over their sexy shenanigans. I believe gravity and other forces conspiring to rob people of their clothing should take an equal-opportunity approach. Therefore, the models for my Cheesecake exhibit are all men; in this case, gay male celebrities from various artistic arenas of pop culture including actor Jesse Archer, photographer Mike Ruiz, musician Ari Gold, and blogger Perez Hilton. Each figure is shown in the midst of a revealing and “accidental” wardrobe malfunction, struggling to gather his aplomb and his pants without ever losing his cool.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Freaks of Nature

Did you know the Alpha female in a pack of wild dogs in Africa won't let any other female reproduce?  And if another female does reproduce, the alpha female will EAT HER YOUNG.  What a bitch!!  I have no idea why we're more fascinated with aliens in outer space than the aliens right here in our own world.  Under the seat there are hermaphrodite fish!  In Australia, we've got an egg-laying mammal called a Platypus!  Better yet, its babies are called Puggles, which was clearly stolen from some plush toy that probably cries when you squeeze it.

Check out this turtle who is desperately trying to hump...a shoe.  Kind of makes you wonder how evolution favored the reptiles?

And have you seen this walrus, blowing its own trombone?  Jealous!  Check it out on Towleroad.

Then there's the most fabulous freak mammal of all time, tops in taps herself, Ann Miller.  I'm yanking this favorite standard out storage once more, and since funerals have been preying on my feeble mind of late, please play this one at mine. 

"Emily, why do you have to make such a big production out of everything?"

Friday, February 05, 2010

Death on the Brain

Those of you who pass by here frequently know I'm always thinking about death and figuring out how it can make us live, live, live like Auntie Mame just because we're aware that one day it's going to all come to a crashing end.  My friends have always sustained me and this has been an extraordinarily difficult week. My gorgeous friend Anthony died suddenly in an (rumors swirl) apparent Michael Jackson/Anna Nicole/Heath Ledger "I just want to sleep" incidence, though I don't really care how it happened because this beautiful person is gone. 

We went to his "Celebration of Life" Sunday and because he was always so excited to host our Gay Pride misadventures, we decided to dress in drag as a tribute to the non-judgmental, positive person he was.  Awkward!!  Though we did it as a tribute to his memory, our intentions were mistaken by some mourners and OH, the confused glares!  The important thing is we were there for Anthony who would have laughed his head off.

Then the other day my super-healthy 45 year old friend Mark Selva, who runs his own PR company had a seizure at the gym.  Turns out it's a double brain stem stroke, which left him in "locked-in syndrome" - trapped inside his paralyzed body and yet completely aware of what's going on.  The only functioning part of his body are his eyes, and he crying, so traumatized by the inability to move that the doctors have to sedate him.  After two days, his family can't bear to prolong his suffering and decide to remove life support and he passes, fully aware of what was happening. Can you even imagine? I had seen him just a couple days before on the street, so full of life, excited about a third interview (and possible contract) with AMFAR.

The horrifying loss of two beautiful souls has led me right to the liquor cabinet. I have no idea how people who lived through the '80's dealt with these untimely and unfair deaths, right and left, in the wake of AIDS.  Until I figure out a way to plant a garden, or give back in some purposeful way, I'll remember my friends in the way that a stranger recently wrote to me, regarding those many he lost:

There's not a day that passes that I don't remember one of them and wonder who they would be now; how time would have moulded and mellowed them.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Where's my royalties?

Thanks to Auntie M for pointing out I did in fact model for the anonymous profile on Facebook.  I'm always happy to provide a silhouette to those too afraid to show their faces online.  It's all about the Johnny Neutron up-do.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Living With Jesse #15

A photograph from Jesse's yearbook prior to the sex change.