Friday, July 29, 2011

That stench coming from Marshall, Texas

You must listen to this astonishing piece of investigative journalism by NPR’s THIS AMERICAN LIFE, as they examine “when patents attack”. That’s not a typo…there's no 'i' in patents!

Patents, the thing that was meant to encourage invention: the laws that gave monetary incentives to inventors for sharing their inventions. Increasingly, as this report details– the great maw of greed has opened up and patents are now not nurturing, but rather crushing, invention.  

So who is squelching innovation in America? Hollow (operative word here) shell companies of lawyers are buying up patents, saturating the tech market and making pouncing “patent trolls” the bane of Silicon Valley.

Companies with 1984-styled names like “Intellectual Ventures” own patents so broad that you and I are right now probably infringing on them. Then, with empty offices and no employees, “based” largely out of Marshall, Texas, they sue (or threaten to sue) all and sundry for patent infringement.

Though they are not creating anything with these patents, you – the creator – will be sued or forced to pay if you want to make anything. It’s a double dip into the dark reality and future as forecasted by George Orwell AND Ayn Rand…together at last, living out the American dystopian dream. The looters and the profiteers are here in full force, and we are not winning!  

Dagny Taggart had it right when she took her brain and got the hell out of dodge.   

Because now you can be sued by those who do nothing for you who do everything. Even if it’s not a new idea, they can probably sue. There are new patents for things like toast – only it’s not toast, it’s now: the thermal refreshening of bread.

Of course you aren’t sued if you pay to use the patents they sit upon. As the show descends further into the cavernous void of one “troll on steroids”, they are told in plain Newspeak that such “businesses” merely protect and defend inventors - by which they mean their investors.

If the do-ers and creators and providers don’t pay up and comply with these trolls, they’ll go out of business. As NPR astutely notes, it’s a mafia style shakedown. Pay us and we will protect you, don’t pay us (shrug and cue your Godfather accent), who knows what’ll happen?


Thursday, July 28, 2011


Remember that internet prankster from a couple years ago who tried to pay his overdue utility bill with an image of a spider
David Thorne is back—or rather, I discover, he's still pranking - and herewith a new literary inspiration. His pithy pranks observe and expose our life and times like a mini Mark Twain, only modern and meaner.  In a nice way, if you know what I mean. 

His book is already an NYT bestseller “The Internet is a Playground” and it’s all bite size back ‘n forth bedevilry with those brave (read: stupid) enough to willingly wander into his digital, 7-legged spider web.

The not-invited to his neighbour’s party in Apt. 3 is a gem. As is this reply to the guy who wrote to tell him he was a “foggot”, which just may prove David Thorne is the most trenchant smart-ass the internet has ever known. 
I’m still hyperventilating at the references to manning motor homes or the girlfriend two KFC buckets away from altering the earth’s rotational access. *Fanned, favorited, fuck me with your head!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Grab Gully!

My pal, party promoter Justin Luke has a hit on his hands with Gulliver Travels, which I got my paws on recently and couldn't put down. It's all about a twink who comes to NY to escape, only to find he's run into a whole lotta adversity - that includes a ton of fun, wit and porn (of course, with blue hair!)
Justin Luke self-published, using the digital world to bypass the old fashioned publishing world with its meager royalties (don't I know it).  But I'm proud to announce that the big time is coming back for him - the senior editor of Amazon's professional publishing arm, Encore, just signed him for a three-book deal.  That's like the 2011 equivalent of a 7-year contract at MGM!

The travel adventures with "smutty spitfire" Gulliver have just begun. Who knows - it could be an east coast Tales of the City? Doesn't that give all you aspiring writers out there exciting hope for the future? Sit your butt down and get write to it.  In the meantime, click to get your (now collector's item!) copy of Gulliver Travels!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Sext Me!

Eating Out 4: Drama Camp just won the audience award for best comedy at Philadelphia's QFest, rocked LA's Outfest, and already yesterday premiered on the LOGO channel.  All that and we only shot it in April! Congrats to all involved...

I'm told Logo censors pixelated my cock sock! Which makes me wonder what they did with the rest of the film? I haven't seen it yet, but can't wait. Also really happy for my dear darling sexy pal Ronnie Kroell! Check him out below, around the ten second mark. Nobody is going to mind if he sleeps nude. Unless he's pixelated!

Don't blink around the minute mark and you'll see me in the makeout montage. The sexy poster is below, and click here for my blog post from the Eating Out 4 set with all the cast & crew hotties!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

What a Woman!

Wow - have you read Infidel?  It now means hero. Ayaan Hirsi Ali is living proof that sometimes you have to lose absolutely everything in order to find yourself.

Her story begins with the final moments of free speech martyr Theo Van Gogh - the Dutch filmmaker who was brutally murdered in the Netherlands for having made a film criticizing Islam. His Muslim killer shot him several times in broad daylight, his throat slit and a 5 page letter stabbed into his back. "That letter was addressed to me," begins Ayaan Hirsi Ali in Infidel.

She was the impetus and writer of Van Gogh's short film, "submission", criticizing the oppression of Muslim women. She now lives with bodyguards in safehouses, but Ali grew up a Muslim in Somalia, Saudi Arabia and Kenya - firmly believing in Allah, often abused, learning multiple languages and all about her "clan". She and her sister endured female circumsion when a man came to their house and as their clan held them down, he mercilessly snipped off their clitorises with scissors.

The excision results in a scar that covers the vagina so thoroughly that there's barely room to leak out urine. Girls who could be heard urinating a full stream were mercilessly made fun of - as clearly they had not been genitally mutilated and thus were unclean. It also meant that sex was a painful experience and the new husband, post-wedding, having thrust and penetrated through this scar, would run around to show the family his pride: the blood-soaked sheets.

Unlike many, Ali was given an education and occasionally got her hands on Western books that spoke about sexual and intellectual liberation. Not that she ever dared at all in the way of insubordination. After all, "submission" is the very definition of Islam. Her father was a rebel leader attempting to free Somalia (still hopeless!) and her mother a woman who learned to accept her lot and constantly blamed others for her unhappiness. When her father arranged a marriage to a devout Muslim from Canada, she uncharacteristically tried to reason her father out of it.

Then, on her way to Canada to consummate the marriage to this man she had met once for 15 minutes, she had a layover in Germany and something sparked. She walked out the door, took a train to the Netherlands, registered as a refugee and disappeared. Somehow she summoned a courage she was never taught.

Infidel is a riveting journey of awakening, nothing short of a woman's total renaissance. An escape to home that is hope and inspiration for humankind. We don't have to be afraid of the dark.

Of course, her "husband" and her clan chased her down, but by now she was strong enough to resist their wrath and say yes to freedom. She even got her sister Haweya refugee status in Holland but she did not fare as well. Haweya said it was like being locked up in a house and suddenly the walls fall down and you are confronted with so many options you simply become paralyzed. She floundered, refused to assimilate, retreated into Islam, raced back to Kenya, went mad and died.

But Ali was empowered, ignited by the flame we call purpose. She learned the language, studied political science, and was elected to Dutch parliament where she spoke out about the dangers of Holland's tolerance of new immigrants who still practice customs like female genital mutilation and honor killings. Ayaan Hirsi Ali became wholly apostate after 9/11.

Ironically, it is in finding purpose that the struggle truly begins.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Binge Drinking for Betty Ford

I'm a prissy boss? Yup! After a glowing review in Variety and universal praise for its truth-telling and talented leads Matthew Ludwinski, Allison Lane, Casper Andreas and Michael Medico, Going Down in La La Land had its sold out premiere at Outfest last weekend. I hope you see it! And if you don't recognize me in this film - it's because I'm wearing clothes!

Before the curtain rose on Going Down in La La Land's premiere, I was Going Down, Down Under! I woke up in an unfamiliar bed beside a lump of blankets, with all my clothes on, although the shirt I'm wearing is not mine.  But the first thing I think is: At least I have all my clothes on!  Then I recognize my girlfriend Yvie's apartment. I thank the lump in bed for her hospitality. She says no worries. 

The day before, Bam and I went to breakfast. After I order a coffee, Bam orders a glass of Chardonnay. "Betty Ford just died," he says, looking up from his ipad. I say, "From an overdose of painkillers?" and then scratch the coffee and order a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Thus begins the morning that leads to the day that heralds the night we spend binge drinking for Betty Ford.

Funny that a lot of people in Australia don't even know America's most famous pill-popping boozer. Or that when you wake up at my age in unfamiliar surroundings in strange clothing with little recall, you are shipped off to the Betty Ford Clinic for addiction. Heck, I didn't even know the former first lady was still alive - in the same way people are shocked to learn (usually from me) that Doris Day and Esther Williams and Olivia de Havilland are, in fact, still alive (I'll drink to them another day, Scarlett).

After breakfast, the day moved on to boxed wine "chateau du cardboard", and was met with several friends along the way...culminating in an XL taxi to Newtown and the legendary drag show at the Imperial Hotel.  Multiple cartwheels later (on the stage runway, of course) everyone else heads for home but Yvie is not done. She's still hanging!  Yvie is a trooper, she'll keep up!  And we're starving.

We go to get a kebab and walking down King Street a complete stranger stops me to ask about my t-shirt.  It's a pec-hugging "I heart Puxi" tee and I say "Puxi is the Times Square of Shanghai!" He loves the idea of Times Square in Shanghai and I decide he simply must own the shirt. He agrees and we swap shirts - strip right there on King Street and sayonara, Puxi. This explains the baggy butch sporting shirt, the one I woke up in; the first one of its kind in my closet. Do not drink and trade.

Yvie and I finally sit down for kebabs and I only realize Yvie is drunker than I am when she ducks under our table to vomit up a half-eaten kebab. "I didn't have time to make the toilet," she declares when she reappears from underneath. I shift our table slightly to semi-cover the spill and non chalantly finish my food.  The next day, as I'm cursing Betty Ford, Yvie calls to say: "I found the other half of the kebab in my handbag."  Hey, at least she didn't find the puke!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Getting older ain't for sissies!

On my birthday this year, I was shot with a crossbow and raped.  And not in that order!  Filming Into the Lion's Den was an intense affair - a feature thriller shot in just ten days. Props to the production team lead by Dan Lantz. Somehow my most intense scenes both ocurred on my last day of filming, which just happened to be my birthday. It was a most memorable one!!

They found this really creepy boiler room beneath an old Philly bar for a torture chamber. It was filled with all sorts of tools and rust, ancient bowling trophies and table-saws meant for cutting metal. Wait til you see all the twisted things that happen to me and my friends in this film. Props to the wicked mind of writer Philip Malaczewski. But here is my rape table!
Jodi Foster had it easy on the pinball machine
And this is just rehearsal!
Actor Michael McFadden smacked me around pretty good and even drooled all over me!!! Mike, I'll get you back in the sequel ;)
POV shot!
Scary how easy it is to get into being dehumanized/dehumanizing. He's really sweet actually, and very believable! But yeah, it was intense down in that horrible dungeon.

Finally, we finish and emerge to the light of day. I'm sweaty and all roughed up and suddenly the cast and crew pull out a cake and card and start singing "Happy Birthday" to me!!  Amazing.  Amazing and surreal and freaky. Like, parallel universe freaky.

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Get your Half-Share!

Want a piece of the action?  Help us out on Kickstarter!  The outrageous antics of Half-Share are getting notice on the circuit at Palm Springs Int'l Shortfest, Rhode Island Int'l Film Festival, and the fabulous news we've been accepted into the prestigious International Television Festival in LA. 

Although production is complete, we're in the hole for licensing fees, finishing funds, and PR $$ to bring this boob-free show onto the boob tube! Help us out when you pledge to our Kickstarter campaign. Pledges begin at $1, and $25 will get you a DVD copy of the film and the shooting script.

If you don't have $1 (I've been there!), you can help for free when you "like" Half-Share on Facebook!

Half-Share is an independently produced 30-minute comedy pilot that I wrote, directed and produced with Sean Hanley and features an all-star cast of gay comedians. If you haven't seen the trailer, it's also in the link above. Thanks to the many generous friends who have already pledged to our campaign!!!

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

"There's steam comin' off of it!"

Wanda Sykes with the most hilarious prank call ever.  It's several years old but this shit makes me laugh every time in different places.

Monday, July 04, 2011

Gay Pride New York City 2011 Photos!

With NY marriage equality coinciding on the cusp Pride Weekend, it was truly historic and the energy was off the charts!  I didn't want to be anywhere else.
It was pure serendipity that I had the weekend off from filming "Into the Lion's Den" in Pennsylvania to make it into the city the very night of the landmark ruling.Went out with friends to the West Village.
Stonewall: Where it all began
We always infiltrate Sunday's Pride Parade with a different theme. In my absence, they chose "Lions Pride" which has nothing to do with the fact I was filming "Into the Lion's Den" or and more to do with the fact Wayne is a Leo and Becky has red hair.  Though they said it was because a group of lions is called a pride. Which makes absolutely no gay sense - but who cares?  Lion Pride was a huge hit!

We got ready in the morning at Cooldan's - with a team of support!  Makeup by Chad, photos by Charlie, and video by Derek
Getting ready with Wayne
Charlie Smith snaps!
Cooldan and Jesse soon to incarnate "Li-on My Back" and "Auntie Mane"
Carniwhore and Anita Gazelle
Lion-el Barrymore
Mistress of Ceremonies and Feral Fawcett.  PS. She had a flask in the other fishnet.
Will de Beest
Pussy GaRoar!
Dan and Esteban
Auntie Mane and Pussy GaRoar take to the streets
The Man Prey: Mason and Ross
Infiltrating the parade this year proved to be a bit of a hassle.  The Denver Post caught Pussy GaRoar's fence hurdling entrance, too.
Lion her back gets a little help from her friends.
Auntie Mane has arrived.
The Lion's Den takes 5th Avenue!
The garter didn't last long. The heels, however, are forever.
Thanks to Cooldan for creating our costumes in my absence!
high tailing it
best friends!
Defending the kill!  OR: Karen Black at the end of Trilogy of Terror
Our steadfast videographer, Derek.
Following a long walk home with a million photo ops from curious strangers, we took off for the 25th annual Pier Dance!

These two got in for free as "performers"! Ha!
Water cannons from a boat on the Hudson. 
And then I found my hooker cards from Vegas.  Sir, you bear a striking resemblance to "BRANLE"
Are you Maya?
A beautiful summer evening, breeze, music and sweaty bodies!
Martha Wash sings "It's Raining Men" and fills up the stage later with two more massive black divas: Robin S and Frenchie Davis!

Fireworks!  Dan puts me on his shoulders and sings to me
Happy Bday to Me! 
 click play for 12 seconds of the epic fireworks finale from the pier.
The Empire State Building goes Rainbow.