Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Just another Saturday in Sydney

The day started off normally enough. We took our friends Noah and Leo to see the movie Frozen
But that evening my straight, lifesaving friend Rhys decided to have a drag celebration for his 30th birthday at the Burdekin. We also had tickets with friends to see a tango concert at Sydney Town Hall that same night. And wouldn't you know – it took so long getting ready that we weren't going to have to change outfits. So this is how we rocked up to Town Hall.
"Mayday will be your hostess tonight in Centennial Hall."
The bevel pose is to die for, no? Such a lady! Simon was none too happy that this kind of exposure was going to happen in front of a discerning live audience and felt all sorts of pressure but somehow, SIMONE got right into it and didn't mind at all!
However, being only her second time in drag, Simon is now losing both big toenails....
With our pal Georgina at Town Hall.
Afterward, we dragged her and her husband back to the party. This below is not them:
Lifesaving pal Nisha with India Schincter.
The very messy Miss Anya Back.
 A step and repeat red carpet... !  Rhys #30 sponsored by Prada, Durex condoms, Range Rover.

Surprising how into it the straight boys were, although some considered spandex onesies to be appropriate drag... not that we minded at all!

 Rhys (below, far right) was far gone by this time. Happy birthday, Legend!
We continued the party up Oxford Street. And then this hairspray thing happened...
Having a blast!

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Stardust Ballroom

And this, my friends, is my local pub. Witness the big hair, the warm atmosphere, the hint that you might win the lotto. That's just how I feel, having discovered the Eastern Suburbs Legion Club.
These locals RSLs are a very cool Australian thing, created for returned service members (hats off!) - and it's a local community, such an authentic place in a world of pretenders. We are members ($2.50 a year!) and when we enter, the median age drops by several decades. There are often bands, but tonight is karaoke night and there is Antoinette on the stage beginning her number. She is queen of the stardust ballroom and soon she will be putting her foot, minx-like, on one of the old men's laps cooing to Nancy Sinatra's "These boots are made for walking".

Patrons are not only the same every week, they sing the same karaoke songs every week, and there are always people dancing... especially that woman with the big blonde bouffant and her partner. No performance is too terrible not to get her up out of her seat and dancing check to cheek. The other woman on the right in what looks like a nightie? She spins around and around in her own world of interpretive dance. There are toothless old men, in the back behind me, like those old Muppets, but staring at TV and often completely asleep.

We've made friends with the bartenders, Sue and Yvonne, who love it when we come in. Last time we went, they asked why we missed the previous karaoke night. Apparently it was a whopper. A brawl broke out during a performance of "Smooth Operator"!

Now I am usually a performer who loves an audience, but as you might imagine, here I just sit back and watch the show!


Friday, January 10, 2014

Alone At The Top

Just last month, actress Joan Fontaine (of Hitchcock's Rebecca and Suspicion) died, aged 96. She was the younger sister, and bitter rival, of actress Olivia de Havilland, aged 97. Theirs was Hollywood's premiere family feud, a lifelong rivalry supposedly nurtured from a very young age by their mother.
Joan Fontaine.
Fontaine is now dead, but she still managed to get the last word. Fontaine once told the Hollywood Reporter, "I married before Olivia, I got an Oscar before her, and if I die before her she'll be furious I beat her to it."

I'm now concerned for Olivia's health, as I figured it was the hate that kept them alive.
Olivia de Havilland in GWTW.
And then, just after New Years 2014, Alicia Rhett, whose only film role was India Wilkes in Gone With The Wind, died in South Carolina. She was 98.
Alicia Rhett as India Wilkes.
That now means, aside from two bit players, Olivia de Havilland is the last surviving cast member of Gone With The Wind. It might go to figure that the woman playing gentle Melanie would outlast them all, and I wonder if she considers this an achievement. If enduring and epic are positive labels only for films. What's it like to have outlasted all your contemporaries, your bitterest rivals; to be peerless?

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Happy New Year 2014!


Raspy voice, bloody feet, mystery bruises and hardly any nutrition have long been the hallmarks of a good time in my world. NYE 2014 ticked all the boxes! I headed up to Lismore for the fantastic Tropical Fruits NYE party and had a blast getting shot out of the proverbial cannon with these pussies.
The theme this year was "Circus" and we went as a pride of lions, with a sexy tamer (of course).
Tropical Fruits takes all that expectancy out of New Years parties, which generally are a let down. Out in the rural showgrounds of Lismore, hundreds of people camp out and you always make great friends, in addition to the ones they brought. The whole community leaves the attitude back home....
Hi Clark!
luncheoning. Who is Shirley's Big Top? 

Ben paints the neighboring lesbian.
Drew is our circus strong man.

Tropical Fruits ringleader, the legendary Maude Boat arrives to lead the parade through town:
 The NYE party begins...
the gang's all here.
She makes us feel self-conscious. 
Fellow expats, Nick and Ben

Cabaret acts all night.


hot nuts! (may contain traces of cock). 
sparklers!
Truman, ringmaster. 
Young Mike is a tightrope walker.  

Simon, Bam (as Lady Godiva!) and Jesse
And then there's the pool party on New Years day... minus any significant sleep, mind you.
(Photos by Brad Mustow)
I hope he is escorting me toward equally sensible footwear! 
I'm not making this look easy. 

Bam Bam contemplates the blizzard ravaging New York.